A dad-of-two heartbreakingly told his family “life is a gift” just months before tragically dying of bowel cancer despite having “minimal symptoms.”

Ali Bevans, 42, from Berkshire, said her husband Toby had “very few symptoms” when he was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in January 2024. Toby had only been experiencing some fatigue, backache and chest pain following a recent case of the flu.

The dad received chemotherapy and radiotherapy, but doctors soon informed the couple in May that there was “nothing else” they could do, and he died peacefully at home, aged 43, on June 16 2024 on Father’s Day.

Before he died, Ali was inspired to “take a challenge on” and she decided to launch a JustGiving page to run the 2025 TCS London Marathon on April 27. With friends, family and colleagues taking on their own fundraising challenges in support of Team Toby, Ali has since received more than £85,000 in donations for Bowel Cancer UK.

Ali told PA Real Life: “Toby’s diagnosis came with very few symptoms and none of the traditional bowel cancer flags and was a huge shock. It was literally like a bullet train and the bullet train crashed. None of us know what’s around the corner, but we can do our best to live our life today.”

Ali and Toby first met at university and were married in 2011 before having their two children – Freddie, now 10, and Tilda, nine. She described him as “thoughtful and loving with a zest for life”. Towards the end of 2023, Ali said Toby was experiencing some fatigue and backache. However, it was not until he developed the flu in December 2023 that he knew something was wrong as his chest was hurting and he “wasn’t recovering”.

He spoke to a GP and, after further tests and examinations, Ali said doctors “hit (them) with the horrendous diagnosis”. In January 2024, they were told Toby had stage 4 bowel cancer and it had spread to his liver and bones. “Your world just stops in an instant,” Ali said. “Your life is never the same from that moment.”

Ali said she then entered “fight stage” as she wanted to do everything in her power to “make life as good as (she) could for Toby”, and he underwent chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Despite the “brutal” diagnosis, Ali said she and Toby enjoyed spending time together and found comfort in the small moments, such as making each other smile or getting outside.

“I think it puts everything into perspective and it gives you so much clarity,” Ali said. “In the end, from his diagnosis to the day that he died, it was just under five months and, at the end of May, we knew that he was going to die.”

At the end of May, Ali said it was discovered that the cancer had progressed and there were no further treatment options. This meant Ali just focused on “making him comfortable” in his final days, with “incredible” support from Thames Hospice. Ali said: “He died on Father’s Day, which was very poignant, very Toby. I don’t think it’s something you can ever prepare yourself for… but I was with him at the end and I was very grateful for that.”

While Toby was in hospital, Ali talked to him about running the 2025 TCS London Marathon and she decided to launch a fundraiser, which “snowballed” and received more than £6,000 in donations in 24 hours. Just before Toby died, Ali said the donations had reached £22,000 and he told her: “Double your target, go for £50,000, you’ll get there.”

Ali and Toby’s children and friends have since taken on their own challenges, and work colleagues have even hosted quizzes, bake sales, 24-hour danceathons and a silent auction, taking the current total to £85,446. Ali’s sister Vicky Plenderleith is swimming the distance of a marathon in 10 days, and the donations have allowed for Ali and Toby’s friends and her other sister Caroline Divitt to join her and run the marathon. Reflecting on the support, Ali said: “It’s just amazing because the one thing that Toby was always big on was his friendships. Even Freddie summed it up and said, ‘Mummy, if we make a difference to just one person’s life, it will be worth it’.”

Following Toby’s death, Ali said the marathon has given her “something positive to focus on” and she wants to continue “living for (herself) and the kids”, with Toby always in their hearts. She said crossing the finish line with her friends will be “hugely emotional” on April 27 and hopes she can reach her latest fundraising target of £100,000.

She hopes Toby’s story raises more awareness of bowel cancer and helps other families “avoid going through what (they’ve) gone through”. “For Toby at the end, he genuinely said, ‘I’ve got no regrets’, and I think for somebody at 43 to say that is incredible,” Ali said. “He said: ‘Life is a gift. Do the things that make you feel alive’. “Toby made the most of every opportunity, and I think living in that way, ultimately, is all you can do.”

Pascale Harvie, president and general manager of JustGiving, said: “Through hard work and determination, Team Toby has raised both important awareness and vital funds for Bowel Cancer UK. Their story is a powerful reminder of the incredible impact communities can have when they come together.”

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