Rehana Rahman, Daily US Times: Being happy alone doesn’t have to be debilitating. Here are some of the best expert-approved keys to being happy alone and 18 special tips to enjoy loneliness. Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely. Before getting into the different ways to find happiness in being alone.
You need to be able to be happy alone first and love yourself in order to give your love to someone else and have a successful relationship.
Can we humans be alone?
No, we can’t. Because, the Creator Himself did not leave us alone in the world. He created a companion for the first man on earth and sent her to eradicate loneliness. Not only human beings, no creation in the universe is alone.
Do we humans want to be alone? No, we don’t. Very few people want to live alone. Those who want or can or know to enjoy a lonely life or loneliness cross the sea of life alone. Some live alone of their own free will, and others are forced to live alone because of circumstances.
Does that mean we have to be alone for the rest of our lives? No, not at all.
Know it’s not forever. Just because you’re alone now, or have been for a while, it doesn’t mean that you always will be. Learning how to make yourself happy, to feel whole and fulfilled on your own, can make you more successful in making and maintaining friendships and relationships.
When does loneliness come?
Sometimes in life there is a time when you don’t want to be alone. Maybe not for the rest of your life, but as long as you have to be alone (maybe for months or years or for a long time) and that loneliness comes.
The feeling of loneliness comes when we take it in a negative way. It knocks you down. Breaks from the inside. It drains away at our insides. No one but the sufferer can describe the pain of loneliness.
When loneliness comes
In the course of our lives we face many problems. When we can’t solve the problem, we feel alone, we feel insignificant to ourselves and we lost the taste of life.
And this is how the mountain of loneliness accumulates. Swallowing loneliness reduces our performance. As a result, no work is done fairly. Self-confidence tends to decrease. The joys of our lives gradually decrease.
At one point it turned into a mental problem. And the problem is slowly getting bigger. This is a matter of concern to many.
So keep in mind that the more you indulge in loneliness, the more it will consume you. So it is necessary to be mentally strong and enjoy it without thinking that loneliness is a problem in life.
The question is, in the moments of being alone, we do not understand what to do or not to do.
The Simple Cure for Loneliness
What you should know
Almost everyone feels lonely at some point. This includes people who seem to be popular. Because in most cases, it doesn’t matter how many friends a person has.
Rather, the closeness of his friendship with them determines whether the person will feel lonely. People who seem to be popular may always have a lot of people with them, because they have no real friends, they may feel lonely.
When you or I are alone, you know yourself anew. Just as there are bad aspects to being alone, there are also good aspects.
What should not be done if you feel alone
- Refrain from smoking or any intoxicants to reduce suffering.
- Do not take sleeping pills without a doctor’s advice for sleep problems.
- Do not increase dependence on the virtual world.
- Do not compare yourself with others.
- Don’t leave yourself alone.
- Do not wrap yourself. Don’t lie down all day or make yourself routine.
- Avoid placing the entire responsibility of the current problem on the shoulders of others or blaming others.
- Refrain from talking about the former person all the time in case of separation-related incidents.
- Don’t rush into making important decisions (such as getting married, getting involved in a new relationship, quitting your job, etc.).
The good aspects of loneliness
1. You can make your own damn house rules
“Living alone means you can be the master of your zen at all times. If you want calm and quiet, you can have it. If you want to have an impromptu solo dance party in your kitchen to Salt-N-Pepa, no problem.
If you want to sleep in until 10 a.m. on Sunday, or get up early and do yoga, you do. If you want to leave your dirty dishes in the sink, you can. If you want to spend three unadulterated, uninterrupted hours cleaning your baseboards, you can do that too.
If you want to just sit and read your book with your dogs curled up at your feet, you will. Living alone to you means you have the freedom to cultivate a home environment that nourishes your soul.”
2. You will have time to take more care of yourself
You don’t have to worry about finding time for someone else in the midst of thousands of tasks. Instead you just have time to think about yourself. This extra time for yourself can be very useful for you. You have time for yourself, for your studies, for your career and of course to build a better future for yourself.
3. You become more self-reliant
When you are alone, that is, not involved in any relationship, your self-confidence increases relatively much. You realize that compliments from others may not have much effect on you. At the same time you learn to realize your own mental strength, intelligence and achievement. As a result, you become much more confident and mentally stronger than before.
4. You can heal yourself from your mental anguish and past sorrows
The pain of breaking up is the most painful. So when a love affair breaks up, it destroys both our mental strength and peace. This works great for being alone. You get some alone time for yourself. You can deal with your own past troubles, past mistakes, you can correct yourself.
5. You learn to fight loneliness and solitude
Strange as it may sound, the truth is that when there are thousands of people around when you are not in a love affair, you start to feel very lonely. Because the passion and understanding that is created in a love relationship between two people, it is not created that way with anyone else.
But, when you are not in a love affair, you will learn from the time you spend with yourself how to spend these lonely times. Even if it is a little difficult at first, after a while you will learn how to have a great time with yourself.
6. You can decide what you want to get next
Just as you get time to correct your mistakes by thinking about your past while you are alone, you can also think about exactly what you want in that relationship if you want to involve yourself in the next relationship.
With no one rushing into a relationship at any time, you can make an understanding with yourself about what kind of partner you want to get in a new relationship, how to build the relationship with him. It will be of great benefit to your next relationship.
7. There is a lot of surplus time in life alone
Being alone means life is not without love. You can spend that love on social work. Whether female or male, there is a lot of surplus time available in life alone. And that time can be put to good use to enrich life. For example, the practice of a particular hobby or social work.
8. Loneliness never betrays
Someone says negligence due to busyness. If you see someone cheating on you or cheating on love, you can avoid him. Because his false love can end your beautiful life. Better a poor horse than no horse at all. Because loneliness never betrays!
How to overcome loneliness
9. Awaken your hobbies
Try to fulfill some of your hobbies. Listen to music, draw pictures, Do gardening. Start to do the work that you love the most. Like to draw? Take out the paintbrush and start scratching the paper.
10. Take care of yourself
Take brisk walks or exercise for at least 40 minutes every day. This habit will help you to reduce the stagnation and fatigue of your mind and body. Take care of yourself even if it is difficult. Keeping yourself tidy little by little, looking at yourself in the mirror, etc.
will help you fall in love again. Do you like to dress up? Sit down with the makeup bag in front of the mirror. Do you like to cook? Open the recipe book and start cooking the term of choice.
11. Start writing
Do you like to write? The pen and paper are waiting for you! If necessary, write a blog. Write an article in a magazine. Write short stories or big stories from your own experience. In this way, spend some great moments with yourself.
Depression is caused by loneliness. So it is very important for us to travel to get rid of monotony. You can go to new places. Traveling gives us peace of mind and expands our store of knowledge. This is why the doctor suggests the patient to travel. So there is no alternative to travel to overcome loneliness. This is one of the most important ways to overcome loneliness.
13. Make friends
Make friends with people who are older than you. Get to know new people. Those who are much older than me, their judgment is very mature and they are reliable.
14. Realize loneliness
Realize the benefits of spending time alone. Some people start to feel lonely when they are alone. However, loneliness is not something to be taken lightly. It is not a sad thing to be alone, but it is a wonderful time to think deeply with our gratitude.
15. Learn to forgive
Think of forgiveness when you are alone. Learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness in the lonely time of life. You have to learn these two things to forgive and to ask for forgiveness. With the help of which you can go through this difficult time.
Sometimes when something bad happens to us, we keep blaming the person who caused it and suffer. But if you notice, you will see that your good is hidden in it. So forgive him, the man who is hurting you. Then you will see how you are feeling peace in yourself.
If there is a problem in your lonely life, the first thing you do is constantly try to pull yourself out of it. Notice why the problem has occurred instead. And want help to solve. This little help from others will help you to think that you are not alone. There are people around you who love you and your society. It works great to boost your confidence.
17. Keep thinking positive
Suppose you see a picture on a website where your friends are having fun together at a party but you are not invited. Then you can do two things you may feel that you were not invited on purpose or you may assume that there is some other positive reason behind it.
Since you don’t know all the reasons, why take the bad reason? Instead, assume that there is a good reason behind your omission.
18. You can do more of that
- Do at least one thing every day that you love or like.
- If you can’t concentrate on thought work, do physical work. Don’t let yourself be lazy.
- Can decorate the house.
- Can feed animals.
- Lighten your mind by crying
- Spend time with children and nature.
- Do social work.
- Keep yourself busy even if you are volunteering.
The bad side of feeling lonely
Harmful to health. Loneliness can be detrimental to our health. After examining the results of 147 studies, researchers concluded that less contact with people is a possible cause of premature death and is “twice as dangerous as gaining weight” and “equal to 15 cigarettes a day.”
Getting involved in wrong relationship. Loneliness can lead us to take the wrong steps. Finding a way to overcome loneliness you may indiscriminately make friends with anyone.
When you feel lonely, you may become desperate to make friends with anyone. You may feel that having a friend is better than having no friends. And that is what danger is all about.”
Device addiction. Electronic gadgets can’t always eliminate loneliness. One of the bad aspects of being alone is that you can cut down on talking and then you can connect with different parts of the world by adding yourself to a Facebook group.
You will spend your time in group discussions, information sharing, etc. through various social media. And gradually this trend will draw you closer. You will become addicted.
How to Be Comfortable Being Alone and Loneliness?
“Even after texting or e-mailing a hundred people a day, one person can feel very lonely,” says Natalie. A teenager named Tyler thinks the same. He says, ‘Text messages were sent, like eating light food but talking face to face, like eating on a full stomach. It may feel good to eat light food, but eating on a full stomach brings satisfaction.’
Decreased talking. After being alone at home for a long time during the weekly holidays, you realized that you have not talked to anyone for 48 long hours.
If your vocal cords speak too much on a working day, it is at rest. If not here’s a new product just for you! The 30-year-old Los Angeles Gloria’s experience is that she became a very quiet person by not talking during the weekends.
You have to do all the work alone. You have to do the cooking and the market. You have to do all the work and even the beetles have to kill themselves. You have to keep your house and clothes clean, furnish your furniture, polish your shoes, and even kill rats, cockroaches, and beetles.
Sources: SinoDotcom, WashingtonPost, PsychologyToday, Psych2go and Deutsche Welle
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