A mum has hit back at critics who call her lazy for being a stay-at-home mum and sats it’s a full-time job in itself.
From doing the school runs to the ever-growing pile of laundry, cooking dinner, cleaning the house and generally looking after everyone, this mum has shared the toll it takes on her life.
She gave up her office role to look after her two yound children, and is “working harder than she ever did” before. She’s frustrated that people don’t realise the “mental load” stay-at-home parents take on day-to-day.
Comparing herself to ‘working mums’ the downtrodden parent is fed up of people thinking she’s ‘lazy’ or ‘less intelligent’ because she doesn’t work and stays at home instead.
She took to Mumsnet to vent and said: “I can’t help but feel like society (and even some people on here) massively undervalue what we do. It’s as if staying home to raise my children makes me lazy or unambitious, when in reality, I’m working harder than I ever did in an office.”
The post detailed how from morning to night she is doing everything including the cooking, cleaning, laundry, childcare, emotional labour, organising appointment and school pick ups. She further added: “The mental load is constant. Yet, because I’m ‘just’ at home, people assume I sit around all day. Even my partner, who works full-time, makes the occasional offhand comment like, ‘Must be nice to chill at home’ which drives me up the wall.”
Now she wants people to acknowledge that being a stay-at-home-mum is a full time job – and one where you don’t clock out at 5pm or even get annual leave. The mum pointed out: “If you added up the cost of hiring a nanny, cleaner, cook, and personal assistant, it would be way more than I’d ever earn in a 9-5.”
She says when she meets new people, she gets “that look” from them when she tells them she’s a stay-at-home-mum, “like I’m somehow less intelligent or lacking ambition. Why is it so hard to just respect different choices?”
Fellow Mumsnet users took to the comments to share their opinions and one said: “I think people are judgy about all sorts of roles. I guess people might be a bit surprised to find you are a SAHM as not many people can afford it these days?”
While another said: “I think the reason for the looks is mostly that once children are school age, a working mum is also doing everything you are- cooking, laundry, housework, school runs etc- on top of working a full day, so the thought that it can be a full time job when they do it all on top of an actual full time job doesn’t quite make sense.”
Do you have a story to share? Email [email protected]
Get email updates with the day’s biggest stories